Word of the Week: Present

What does it mean to be present? For me, that means completely being in the moment with someone. Paying attention, listening, being fully there both physically mentally. It is so easy to forget to be present in a world so dominated by technology. How often is "quality" time with others just you all sharing the same space while on your phones? I so often find myself "checking" something (twitter, facebook, etc), only to realize I've been mindlessly scrolling for an hour. The same could be said, though, for when I sit in bed and read my book for 2 hours at night while my boyfriend sits here watching tv and youtube videos simultaneously somehow. That's fine to do some times, but I need to make sure I put in more effort to have actual present time with him some nights. 

And that isn't to say that technology actually can't help us. I had an almost 2 hour FaceTime yesterday with my good friend Liv. She lives in LA currently and I haven't seen her in almost a year and a half now. (She used to live in Pittsburgh so I used to see her a couple times a year.) We drank our coffee and had a real, actual discussion. We text constantly, but there was something special about seeing each other's faces and pretending we were sitting at a Starbucks together catching up. For being present with one another. 

Whenever I think about being present I think about when I'm hanging out with my niece and nephew and how they INSIST on having my undivided attention. Because that's what children want from you. Currently, if I go over to my sister's house, I have to spend at least 20 uninterrupted minutes watching my niece practice her beam routine. And she expects feedback, so you BETTER not look away. But I think that it's important to remember how important that kind of attention is for everyone, not just children. 

I admit this one will be hard for me, because I've recently been making it a point to be "selfish" and focusing on myself before others. (Very hard for an enneagram 2, by the way). But I think I can manage to dedicate enough time to myself and my own goals, and also set aside time to really be present with the people most important to me as well. 

In trying to remember the last time I was fully present (besides when I meditate), I think it was when my grandfather came home on hospice. He came home the Thursday before July 4th weekend. From the second he arrived home that evening until 3 days later when he passed, I was truly present. We knew our time with him was limited, but more importantly we knew that it was special. It was sacred. And I was there. Mind, body and soul, for 3 full days I made sure I was as present as I have ever been. While it was obviously a sad time, I am so happy I was truly present for it all. If only we treated more situations with that mindset - that our time with everyone was always so special and sacred. In actuality, we never do know when our moments with someone will be our last. It's easier to be present when you know you have limited time. But I challenge everyone, myself included, to be more present even when it isn't "expected". 

I think if we all try to be more present, we will have so many more sweet moments with our loved ones to cherish.